my uncle is a priest and he’s staying over for a couple days how the fuck am i supposed to watch supernatural and read fanfiction with his righteousness here
Sacrifice him to Satan
no he’s making mac and cheese for dinner
I admire your ability to keep your priorities straight.
You guys want to know about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen? Of course you do.
A few summers ago a friend of my mom’s hired me to act as babysitter/reading coach/creative facilitator for her 5 year old. This little girl was (at least at the time) VERY “girly” — I played more Barbies with this kid in one summer than I did during my entire childhood.
One day I took her to see a movie and as we were driving back I had some of my random-ass music playing because I can’t stand the radio. “Black Coffee” by Black Flag came on. I figured she would hate it and ask me to skip the song, but she fucking loved it.
So the funniest thing I’ve ever seen is the sight of this prissy, girly five-year-old girl screaming “BLACK COFFEE, DRINKIN BLACK COFFEE” along with Henry Rollins.
That’s the single cruelest question I’ve ever been asked. Based on the body of work, I’d say Brando, but based on personality and who I’d rather hang out with I’d say Newman.
If you mean who would I rather bang? There is only one acceptable answer.
I’ve never seen either actually…
MAKE ME CHOOSE BETWEEN:
- two songs
- two bands
- two actors
- two actresses
- two singers
- two movies
- two books
- two characters
- two ships
- two shows
- two kinks
- two anything
Just when I’m feeling like a super sassy proud Texan and all “Texas is secretly awesome FUCK YEAH”
I check Jezebel and see the headline “Texas Rep Says Abortion is Evil Because Fetuses Masturbate in the Womb.”
And then I lose all faith in humanity and revert back to “the entire world hates me because Texas”.
Grandmas are weird guys.
My mom’s mom is like RELIGION IS EVIL LET’S BURN DOWN ALL THE CHURCHES RAAAAAAAARRRR
And then my dad’s mom will passive aggressively complain that she wishes that my parents had raised me religious so I didn’t have to work so hard to develop a sense of morality.